After four months when I got admission in SZABIST she came back to Karachi for 3 weeks. Now this time I was going to meet her for the second time. On the first day of SZABIST I went to meet her. And then I started meeting her almost in every break of my class of SZABIST. I knew that it is final time I m meeting her because if now she will go to Lahore then she won’t be able to come back to meet me.

So we just had a lot of fun in this 1 month. We went to many cafes. We watched many movies in Cineplex. We did a lot of shopping together. We went to many hotels for lunch. We also went to sea side but only once because I don’t like that place but she really wanted to see sea side because there is no sea in Lahore, so I took her to the sea side. We went to the pizza hut of sea view. I knew that I can’t eat pizza but she liked it so I took her to pizza hut also.

In this one month I lived my whole life. I never had such fun at those places in my whole life that I had when she was with me at those places. I really miss that time till now but I know that it will never come back again.

After that when she returned to Lahore she missed me so much that she can’t even live a single minute there without me. She told her family that I love someone and I can’t marry that guy. They told her that we can’t do anything because now it is not just about us, it is also about your sister. How can you destroy her life? Actually her sister was engaged to the younger brother of that guy who was engaged with Amna. So if she would have broken the marriage then her sister’s marriage will also be broken. And her sister loved that guy from her childhood and would die without him.

After this tried to commit suicide and was admitted in a hospital for 2 days. When she told me that she tried to kill herself I was really shocked. I told her not to do it again or I also will kill myself. Then she promised me that I will never do it again. After that I strictly told her that now we will never talk to each other because it is really dangerous for both of us. She said please don’t do it I will marry him and I will never do it again. Just talk to me on phone and give me some time I will soon take full control on my self. And slowly I will try to forget you.

I agreed and talked to her 2 months more. In this period I made up her mind and told her that your life will be so beautiful after this marriage. You know that guy from your childhood. He is not a stranger for me. He likes you so much and will always keep you happy. With me your life will be living hell. You will never be happy with me. Don’t waste your life for me just go and marry that person. A wonderful life is waiting for you. Just don’t worry about me I will control my self.

After these two months she agreed on this that she will marry him and will try her best to forget me. But she also took a promise from me that you will also not waste your life for me. You will also love someone else and you will also marry someone when your time of marriage will come. If you want to see me happy then you also have to do all this otherwise I will never marry anyone. I promised her that don’t worry I will not waste my life for you, I will also move on in life, I will try to be happy, I will also forget you and will once again fall in love with someone.

Now she has controlled herself and is much happy with her life. She is now busy in the preparation of her marriage which is just after the Muharram. She also sent me her wedding card and also invited me to her wedding. But of course I m not that much stronger that I can see her marry with someone with my own eyes. But I will be happy in it and I will pray for her that everything in her wedding will be perfect.

Now we have become best friends from lovers and we are really happy in this relation. Now she is so busy in the preparation of her marriage that she has no time to call me and I m really very happy that she is forgetting me and is really happy with his marriage. She always calls me to take advice whenever she is buying something for marriage. I just want nothing but her happiness and I m really happy that she is forgetting me and is trying to be happy whatever she has got. (MashahAllah)

I pray for her that she gets everything that she wants in her life. Her husband always loves her and always supports her. He always tries to keep her happy and always ignore all those things which hurt’s her. She never feels alone or worried. She never misses me. She forgets me very soon. She has a long happy life with her loving husband and sweet kids. She always be happy wherever she lives in her life. And Allah gives her all my happiness and smile to her and all her problems and tears to me (Ameen).

After some months in April 2008 she came to Karachi to visit her brother’s house who has just shifted from Lahore to Karachi. She told me that I m coming to Karachi for 1 week. I was really very happy that now finally I meet and see that person with my own eyes whom I love the most in this world.

She told me before 15 days that I m coming to Karachi and those 15 days were like 15 years for me. I just all the time kept on counting how many days are left. After that she came to Karachi and she told me that today is my flight at 8 pm, can you be there on air port? I would not be able to talk to you because my family will be with me but we could se each other. I said of course I will be there.

I went to airport and saw her for the first time. I was just out of my mind because the person whom I truly love is standing just in front of me. She saw me and gave me a little smile and then they went from the air port in their car. In the night she asked me on phone that how do I look? How did you find me? How was my dressing? And a lot of questions like this. I said that you were looking just perfect and for me you are the most beautiful person of the world. Whatever you wear, however you looks and whatever you do can never decrease your importance in my life. Then I asked that how do I look? She said that you look good but you need to loose some weight. But it is not for your looks it is for your health. I don’t care you look smart or not because in love beauty doesn’t matter.

After that we planned to meet once before her returning date to Lahore. I picked her from her house and went to Costa Coffee. There we talked about many things. She told me that my date of marriage is coming closer and I don’t want to get married with anyone except of you. But I understand that you are not independent enough that you can marry me right now because you are just a 2^nd year student. She cried very much and told me that how much she love me and can’t even think of live without me. I also shared my feelings with her but I gave her strength that every one doesn’t get that person whom he loves. There are millions of people who have lost there loved ones but they are living without them. Life is just a second name of sacrifice. We should now stop talking with each other and try to accept that we are not made for each other. But she was not ready to except this and said that I will die but never marry to a person whom I don’t love.

She lived in Lahore and I lived in Karachi so we didn’t meet each other. We just talked on phone. We really liked to talk with each other. Whenever I talk to her then I was just me. Whenever I talk to her I felt that I m special. Whenever I talk to her I felt like every thing is so much beautiful in this world. Whenever I talk to her I felt like I m living in a world which is full of happiness and colors. When I talk to her then I just wanted to stay that way all my life talking to her and didn’t wanted to do any other thing.

The only thing that I felt bad when I talk to her was that she was engaged and she will be getting married within a year. This fear was from always in my heart that one day she will leave me and will get married with that guy with whom she is engaged from 3 years. He was 4 years elder then her. He was settled in Lahore on a good post and was her first cousin. His mother and Amna’s mother were sisters. So they couldn’t break the marriage. And if Amna would break the marriage then I have to marry her that time but I was just in 2^nd year of college and I couldn’t marry her because I was not that independent that I can marry a girl and take her responsibilities. Because I was just a student and she was 3 years elder then me and have completed her studies.

Knowing all this we didn’t stopped talking with each other. Without caring for anyone we were just living in a world of dreams in which there were only me and her.

After some days at night she called me. I was sleeping one night and she called me but I didn’t pick up the phone that time because I was sleeping. In the morning I saw her missed calls. I thought that she is again ill or something that’s why she is calling me. Then I immediately called her but now she was not picking up the phone. I was really very worried. I kept calling her but nobody was picking up the phone.

After that I sent her an e-mail that how are you and where are you? Are you alright? You called me last night but I was sleeping so that’s why I didn’t pick up the phone. Then in morning I saw your missed calls so now I m calling you but you are not picking up the phone.

After that some hours later she called me. That was the first day I hear her voice. It was really very sweet. I was really not feeling that I m talking to her first time. I was feeling that I have talked with her so many times before. Her way of talking was so polite and soft that I fell in love just after talking with her once.

It was the happiest day for me when I hear her voice for the first time and I just wanted to hear it and didn’t wanted to do anything else and didn’t wanted to go anywhere.

After that she also told me that I was calling you last night because I was really missing you so much and I just wanted to talk to you. I couldn’t control my self and just wanted to say you that I love you so much. I was just out of this world and I didn’t say anything. My voice was not coming out of my mouth due to happiness. I just said that thanks for loving me Amna and I respect your feelings.

After that she also told me that I was not picking up the phone because I thought that you were not picking up the phone last night because you didn’t liked that I called you and I thought that you were ignoring me. But after reading your e-mail I came to know that you were sleeping so that’s why you didn’t pick up the phone.

After some days Amna fell seriously ill and he didn’t came online for 3 days continuously. In these three days I was really very upset and as well as worried about her because I didn’t knew that she is ill. Because I didn’t had her number we just used to chat on yahoo or msn messenger. After three days when she came online then she told me that she fell ill very badly and she was admitted in a hospital. I was so much upset after hearing it. Then she told me that now I m much better and doctor told me to take rest but I came online just for you because I knew that you would be very much worried about me. So I just came to tell you that I m alright now don’t be worried.

Then I was just thinking to ask her number so that if this type of thing happen again so she can tell me on a message that don’t worry I m alright. I was just thinking this but I didn’t ask her because I was feeling shy in it. I was just thinking this and she said that Salman can you please give me your number so that I can message you if this ever happen again. I will not call you if you don’t like, I will just message you. I was shocked after this. I told her that I was just thinking exactly the same and you said it right on that time. Then I gave my number to her but didn’t ask her to talk to me on phone that time.

In the beginning of our friendship she seems to be very depressed by her way of talking but after some months I changed her. She told me that I have completely changed myself because of you. Because in the beginning of our friendship I was really depressed but after talking to you my depression really reduced. At that time I may be happy but just to show the world that I m happy but now I feel really very happy from inside. You are very caring and loving person. And by your care and fun loving nature you have just pulled me out from this hell like depression.

I was really going to die that time if you didn’t give me that support. In other words you saved me from dying and I m alive just because of you. She also said that you will never understand all this. For you this may be just a normal thing but you actually don’t know what you have done for me and now what you mean for me. She also said that for you I might be just a friend or best friend but for me you now someone more than just a friend. Now for me you are not just a friend. After that she showed me her pictures. She was really very beautiful. I asked her that why did you lie to me that you are ugly and fat? Then she told me that I didn’t wanted you to be my friend or to like me just because I m beautiful. I wanted you to like me because of my nature.

In the beginning of our friendship I asked Amna to show me her pictures but she said that I can’t because I don’t like to show my pictures on internet and also I haven’t shown my pictures to any of my internet friend because I don’t trust anyone. People usually copies pictures and place it on wrong sites. After that I never asked her to show me her pictures. After that when we became good friends on internet I again asked Amna that can you now show me your picture? I also said that if you don’t want then it is okay no problem. She said that I don’t want to show my pictures, that’s not because I don’t trust you but because I don’t want to loose a friend like you. I m very ugly, I m very short, I have dark complexion and I m very fat. She also said that the day I will show you my pictures will be the day you will never talk with me again.

I said her no I m not that kind of guy who just friendship with a girl because of her face and beauty. It doesn’t matter for me that you are ugly or fat. If you are my friend then I don’t care about such things. I just wanted to see your pictures just because I want to see a person whom I call my best friend. Then I said it is okay don’t show me your pictures right now show me your pictures after some months or whenever you want.

Actually she was lying that she is ugly because she doesn’t want me to be her friend because of her outside beauty. She wants me to be her friend because of her inside beauty. She thought that I m a kind of guy who just wanted a friend who is beautiful, smart and rich. She also told me that she belongs to a poor family and her father is a plumber which was a lie because her father was on a very high position and she was very rich.

In the beginning I also says like her that I don’t want to show you my pictures because I m very fat and ugly. The only difference was that when she used to say this, it was a lie but when I used to say this, it was a truth. I was afraid to show her my pictures because I didn’t wanted to loose a friend like her because she was the only one with whom I always be happy all the time. But after some days I showed her my pictures. She said that you are very cute and I really like your pictures. I was really happy after that. I don’t know why I was feeling really happy when she said you are cute. Many friends on mine says that you are cute but I never felt that much happiness in it as I felt when Amna said it.

In a very short period we became a really good friends. In the beginning when we started chatting Amna seems to be very depressed and reserved person. But as the time passes I saw changes in her thoughts and nature. These changes were because of me and I myself didn’t even know it, which she told me later. Amna started sharing all her things with me and told me everything about herself. She was 3 years elder then me in age. But I didn’t give any importance to it because friendship doesn’t depend upon age. And for me age factor is not a big issue.

Amna started to share, everything which happened in her life, with me. She also told me that she is engaged from 3 years and will be getting married after 1 and a half year. At that time it didn’t hurt me much, may be because I didn’t fallen in love with her till that time. As the time passed on I also started to share everything of my life with her. I told her each and every thing which has happened in my life. Then we just kept chatting with each other whole night from 12:00 am to 6:00 am continuously. I don’t know why I was doing all this stupid things but I was really happy from inside while talking with her. And I was so glad to have a friend like her with whom I can share just anything that I want.

Next night I was waiting for her again that may be she will come online. At 12:00 am she came online. I was really very happy to see her online. Then we started chatting and she asked did you came online tomorrow? I said yeah I did. Then she asked that did you waited for me? I said no, I didn’t. I lied because it was really embarrassing for me to tell her that yeah I was waiting for you whole night but you didn’t came online. After that she said ok that’s good but I was expecting something else. I didn’t asked that what was she expecting from me. I asked her why didn’t you came online last night. She told me that my computer was not working. I thought that I will chat with you on my brother’s computer but today was my brother’s paper so he was studying all the night on his computer.

After that we started to chat on random topics. I was really enjoying talking with her once again. Our each and every like and dislike, our every thoughts and every thing was exactly the same. It seems like God has just made her for me. I was really happy and in my heart I was thanking God for giving me a chance to talk with someone who is just my sole mate. I was really sleepy that time but I didn’t want to go to sleep. That time I just wanted to chat with her so I didn’t told her that I m sleepy.

We were enjoying chatting with each other so much that we didn’t realize that it is 6:00 am and we are chatting from last 6 hours continuously. After that she told me that I have to go now because my mom has been awakened and she will be angry on me because I m awakened till now. I really didn’t want her to go even though my eyes were closing because I was really very sleepy. I said her that please don’t go. She asked but why? I said I don’t know but please don’t go. She said I really can’t stay here for a single minute, I really got to go now.

Before saying bye she told me something, after hearing that I was really very happy. She told me that I want to tell you something but I m feeling embarrassing in telling you that. I said don’t be embarrass just go ahead and tell me. She said I waited whole night yesterday to chat with you. I was waiting for my brother’s studies to complete so that when he will get up from computer I may have a chance to chat with you. Even though it was really late and I knew that you won’t be online and waiting for me but I don’t know why I waited for you whole night. But my brother was studying whole night and didn’t gave me chance to use computer so I didn’t came online but waited the whole night in this hope that may be I will get a chance to chat with you.

After hearing this I was really shocked and at the same time I was really happy that I m not alone this much idiotic person in this world, someone else also comes in my category. After that I also told him that I also waited for you whole night but you didn’t come online. I have never done such stupid thing for anyone in my whole life but don’t know why I did this for you. She asked me then why didn’t you told me before. I said that I was feeling embarrassing that what will you think about me that I waited for a person whom I don’t even know. She smiled and said thank you for waiting for me. I don’t know why I was expecting this from you that you will also be waiting for me like I was waiting for you.

After my first chatting with Amna, she said me to come online tomorrow night and we will chat. I don’t know why I was waiting for the night whole day so that I can chat with her. I was just remembering our discussions which we did last night. Because all her thinking was just exactly same like that of mine. I was really excited to talk with her again. Last night after knowing that she is not 44 years old and she don’t have 4 children I was really happy don’t know why. She told me to come on 12:00 am and I was there from 11:00 am. I was waiting for her but the time was passing and she didn’t come. I thought that may be she will be busy and just coming so I didn’t got offline for even a single minute. That night I waited for her whole night and listening to music to kill the time while I was waiting. I have never done such a stupid thing in my whole life for anyone. But I don’t know why I did this for a stranger. I was feeling really idiotic that what the hell I m doing. I m waiting for a person with whom I have talked just once on internet. She is not even my friend or something. I don’t even know her. Then why I m waiting for her all the night long. These types of questions were coming in my mind that night. I know it was really stupid to wait for a person whole night who is a stranger for you but I don’t know why I was really attracted towards her and I just wanted to talk with her once again.